I Dream of Dad

My dad passed away on May 2, 2007 at the age of 93. 
I had a dream with my dad a couple of nights ago, and I feel better because of it.  I don’t remember 99% of my dreams, but this one was vivid.  When the dream started, I knew I was at a church and the service was related to my daughter, and I knew what the reason was.  I was talking to the ladies sitting next to me, and one lady is a parent of my daughter’s schoolmate.  Then I leaned over a little more and saw my dad sitting in the aisle seat smiling at me, with his mouth wide open, and nodding to me in acknowledgement, like “it’s okay” or “I’m here.”  My dad rarely smiled or laughed when he was alive and certainly not during the last few years of his life when he was sick.  Then I remember thinking, “Why am I here?  We’re at a church, and it’s about my daughter.  OH NO!  Is it her funeral?” It seemed like my dream was suspended while my mind searched for the reason and finally, it came, “Oh yeah.  She’s getting baptized!”  Very strange.  Then I woke up.
I’ve had a couple of dreams with my dad in them in the past 3 1/2 years.  I seem to remember that both times were either around or during times that he needed medical help.  I think that happened because I saw him a lot and was very involved in his life.  That’s why I was slightly bothered that I hadn’t had any dreams of him either right before or after he died.  It just made me feel like I lost touch with him after the caregivers took over. 
That paternal approval hardly occur when he was around, so I think this dream told me that he thought I did alright as his daughter.  I can finally grieve “normally”!  I can tell that in the past two days I’ve been thinking of him differently and truly missing him instead of feeling like there was a lot left unsaid or undone or whether I did my job as a daughter or not.


3 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. pattis5
    Jul 22, 2007 @ 11:19:00

    It’s funny how no matter how old we get, we still want our parents’ approval. I’m glad your dream gave you some comfort. I’m sure your dad is proud of you even if he didn’t express it to you often or in the way you needed him to.


  2. Shutterbugd
    Jul 22, 2007 @ 12:04:00

    Hugs to you Rose… I still dream about my parents… I can still hear their voices like they are right here beside me… esp in Church… I can hear my mom’s voice..  
    glad to know where your blog is! 


  3. cz_scrap
    Jul 25, 2007 @ 08:00:00

    Glad to find your blog-dreams are weird aren’t they?Yet they can give comfort too. I know you were a good daughter for your Dad from the things you’ve written on dmarie-glad your dream gave you comfort.


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